JEWISH TIE SALESMAN

A FLEEING TALIBAN TERRORIST,

DESPERATE FOR WATER,

WAS PLODDING THROUGH THE

AFGHAN DESERT WHEN HE SAW SOMETHING

FAR OFF IN THE DISTANCE.

HOPING TO FIND WATER,

HE HURRIED TOWARD THE MIRAGE,

ONLY TO FIND A VERY LITTLE FRAIL

JEWISH MAN STANDING AT A SMALL

MAKESHIFT DISPLAY RACK SELLING TIES.

THE TALIBAN TERRORIST ASKED,

"DO YOU HAVE WATER?"

THE OLD MAN REPLIED,

"I HAVE NO WATER.

WOULD LIKE TO BUY A TIE?

THEY ARE ONLY $5."

THE TALIBAN SHOUTED HYSTERICALLY,

"YOU IDIOT INFIDEL!

I DO NOT NEED SUCH AN OVERPRICED

WESTERN ADORNMENT. 

I SPIT ON YOUR TIES.

I NEED WATER!"

"SORRY, I HAVE NONE,

JUST TIES - PURE SILK AND ONLY $5."

"PAHH! A CURSE ON YOUR TIES!

I SHOULD WRAP ONE AROUND YOUR

SCRAWNY LITTLE NECK AND CHOKE

THE LIFE OUT OF YOU,

BUT I MUST CONSERVE MY

ENERGY AND FIND WATER!"

"OKAY,"

SAID THE LITTLE OLD JEWISH MAN.

"IT DOES NOT MATTER THAT

YOU DO NOT WANT TO BUY A

TIE FROM ME,OR THAT YOU HATE ME,

THREATEN MY LIFE

AND CALL ME INFIDEL.

I WILL SHOW YOU THAT I AM BIGGER

THAN ANY OF THAT.

 IF YOU CONTINUE OVER THAT HILL

TO THE EAST FOR ABOUT TWO MILES,

YOU WILL FIND A RESTAURANT.

IT HAS THE FINEST FOOD AND

ALL THE ICE-COLD WATER YOU NEED.

GO IN PEACE."

CURSING HIM AGAIN,

THE DESPERATE TALIBAN

STAGGERED AWAY,

OVER THE HILL. 

SEVERAL HOURS LATER

HE CRAWLED BACK,

ALMOST DEAD

AND GASPED:

"THEY WON'T LET ME IN WITHOUT A TIE..."