AMERICA V RUSSIA
Added on: 4th Dec 2015
THE AMERICANS AND RUSSIANS,
AT THE HEIGHT OF THE ARMS RACE,
REALIZED THAT IF THEY CONTINUED IN
THE USUAL MANNER THEY WERE GOING
TO BLOW UP THE WHOLE WORLD.
ONE DAY THEY SAT DOWN AND DECIDED
TO SETTLE THE WHOLE DISPUTE
WITH ONE DOG FIGHT.
THEY'D HAVE FIVE YEARS TO BREED
THE BEST FIGHTING DOG IN THE WORLD
AND WHICHEVER SIDE'S DOG WON WOULD
BE ENTITLED TO DOMINATE THE WORLD.
THE LOSING SIDE WOULD HAVE
TO LAY DOWN ITS ARMS.
THE RUSSIANS FOUND THE BIGGEST,
MEANEST DOBERMAN AND ROTTWEILER
IN THE WORLD AND BRED THEM WITH
THE BIGGEST MEANEST SIBERIAN WOLVES.
THEY SELECTED ONLY THE BIGGEST AND
STRONGEST PUPPY FROM EACH LITTER,
KILLED HIS SIBLINGS,
AND GAVE HIM ALL THE MILK.
THEY USED STEROIDS AND TRAINERS
AND AFTER FIVE YEARS CAME UP WITH
THE BIGGEST MEANEST DOG THE
WORLD HAD EVER SEEN.
ITS CAGE NEEDED STEEL BARS THAT
WERE THREE INCHES THICK AND
NOBODY COULD GET NEAR IT.
WHEN THE DAY CAME FOR THE FIGHT,
THE AMERICANS SHOWED UP WITH
A STRANGE ANIMAL.
IT WAS A NINE-FOOT LONG DACHSHUND.
EVERYONE FELT SORRY FOR THE AMERICANS
BECAUSE THEY KNEW THERE WAS NO WAY
THAT THIS DOG COULD POSSIBLY LAST
TEN SECONDS WITH THE RUSSIAN DOG.
WHEN THE CAGES WERE OPENED UP,
THE DACHSHUND CAME OUT AND WRAPPED
ITSELF AROUND THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING.
IT HAD THE RUSSIAN DOG ALMOST
COMPLETELY SURROUNDED.
WHEN THE RUSSIAN DOG LEANED OVER
TO BITE THE DACHSHUND'S NECK,
THE DACHSHUND REACHED OUT AND
CONSUMED THE RUSSIAN DOG IN ONE BITE.
THERE WAS NOTHING LEFT AT
ALL OF THE RUSSIAN DOG.
T
THE RUSSIANS CAME UP TO THE AMERICANS,
SHAKING THEIR HEADS IN DISBELIEF.
`WE DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS
COULD HAVE HAPPENED.
WE HAD OUR BEST PEOPLE WORKING
FOR FIVE YEARS WITH THE MEANEST DOBERMAN
AND ROTTWEILER IN THE WORLD AND
THE BIGGEST, MEANEST SIBERIAN WOLVES."
"THAT'S NOTHING,"
AN AMERICAN REPLIED.
"WE HAD OUR BEST PLASTIC SURGEONS
WORKING FOR FIVE YEARS TO MAKE
AN ALLIGATOR LOOK LIKE A DACHSHUND."
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