CHRISTMAS AND THE IRISH

THREE MEN DIED ON CHRISTMAS EVE

AND WERE MET BY SAINT PETER

AT THE PEARLY GATES. 

'IN HONOUR OF THIS HOLY SEASON'

SAINT PETER SAID,

'YOU MUST EACH POSSESS SOMETHING

THAT SYMBOLISES CHRISTMAS

TO GET INTO HEAVEN.' 

THE ENGLISHMAN FUMBLED

THROUGH HIS POCKETS AND

PULLED OUT A LIGHTER.

HE FLICKED IT ON.

'IT'S A CANDLE', HE SAID. 
 
'YOU MAY PASS THROUGH

THE PEARLY GATES' SAINT PETER SAID.  

THE SCOTSMAN REACHED

INTO HIS POCKET AND PULLED OUT

A SET OF KEYS.

HE SHOOK THEM AND SAID, '

THEY'RE BELLS.' 
 
SAINT PETER SAID

'YOU MAY PASS THROUGH THE PEARLY GATES'. 

THE IRISHMAN STARTED SEARCHING

DESPERATELY THROUGH HIS POCKETS

AND FINALLY PULLED OUT

A PAIR OF WOMEN'S PANTIES. 
 
ST. PETER LOOKED AT THE MAN

WITH A RAISED EYEBROW AND ASKED,

'AND JUST WHAT DO THOSE SYMBOLISE?' 

THE IRISHMAN REPLIED,

'THESE ARE CAROLS.'  
 
AND SO THE CHRISTMAS SEASON BEGINS......