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EUROENGLISH

Added on: 20th Dec 2015

 

THE EUROPEAN COMMISSION HAVE JUST ANNOUNCED

AN AGREEMENT WHEREBY ENGLISH WILL BE THE

OFFICIAL LANGUAGE OF THE EU RATHER THAN GERMAN,

WHICH WAS THE OTHER POSSIBILITY.

AS PART OF THE NEGOTIATIONS,

HER MAJESTY'S GOVERNMENT CONCEDED THAT

ENGLISH SPELLING HAD SOME ROOM FOR

IMPROVEMENT AND HAS ACCEPTED A

5 YEAR PHASE IN PLAN THAT WOULD BE KNOWN

AS "EUROENGLISH": -- IN THE FIRST YEAR,

"S" WILL REPLACE THE SOFT "C".. SERTAINLY,

THIS WILL MAKE THE SIVIL SERVANTS JUMP WITH JOY.

THE HARD "C" WILL BE DROPPED IN FAVOR OF THE "K".

THIS SHOULD KLEAR UP KONFUSION AND

KEYBOARDS KAN HAVE 1 LESS LETTER.

THERE WILL BE GROWING PUBLIK ENTHUSIASM

IN THE SEKOND YEAR,

WHEN THE TROUBLESOME "PH"

WILL BE REPLACED WITH THE "F".

THIS WILL MAKE WORDS LIKE "FOTOGRAF" 20% SHORTER.

IN THE 3RD YEAR, PUBLIK AKSEPTANSE OF

THE NEW SPELLING KAN BE EXPEKTED TO REACH

THE STAGE WHERE MORE KOMPLIKATED CHANGES

ARE POSSIBLE. GOVERNMENTS WILL ENKORAGE

THE REMOVAL OF DOUBLE LETTERS, WHICH HAVE

ALWAYS BEN A DETERENT TO AKURATE SPELING.

ALSO, AL WIL AGRE THAT THE HORIBLE MES

OF THE SILENT "E"'S IN THE LANGUAGE IS DISGRACEFUL,

AND THEY SHOULD GO AWAY.

BY THE 4TH YAR, PEOPL WIL BE RESEPTIV TO

STEPS SUCH AS REPLASING "TH" WITH "Z" AND

"W" WITH "V". DURING ZE FIFZ YEAR, ZE

UNESESARY "O" KAN BE DROPD FROM VORDS

KONTAIINING "OU" AND SIMILAR CHANGES VUD

OF KORS BE APLID TO OZER KOMBINATIONS

OF LETERS. AFTER ZIS FIFZ YER,

VE VIL HAV A RELI SENSIBL RITEN STYL.

ZER VIL BE NO MOR TRUBLS OR DIFIKULTIS AND

EVRIVUN VIL FIND IT EZI TU UNDERSTAND ECH OZER.

               

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!!

 

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger2/5749/1819/400/letters.gif

 


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