MARITAL BLISS

SO GRANDPA”

ASKED DAVE AT HIS

ENGAGEMENT PARTY

“YOUR MARRIAGE TO GRANDMA

IS LEGENDARY EVERYONE

TALKS ABOUT HOW YOU TWO

GET ALONG SO WELL

AND NEVER FIGHT,

WHAT’S THE SECRET TO

YOUR MARITAL SUCCESS?”

“WELL” SAID GRANDPA JOE

AFTER TAKING A DEEP PUFF

ON HIS CIGAR

“IT ALL STARTED

ON THE WAY HOME

FROM OUR WEDDING,

WE HADN’T GONE BUT A MILE

WHEN THE HORSE STARTED

GIVING US TROUBLE

I GAVE THE HORSE A LITTLE WHIP

AND THAT’S WHEN I HEARD YOUR

GRANDMA SAY IN A LOW VOICE

“THAT’S STRIKE ONE.”

A BIT LATER

THE HORSE STOPPED AGAIN

“THAT’S STRIKE TWO”

SHE SAID.

THE THIRD TIME IT STOPPED

SHE GRABBED MY SHOTGUN

OUT OF MY HOLSTER

AND SHOT IT IN THE HEAD.

I WAS IN SHOCK!  

“WHAT IN THE WORLD WAS

THAT ALL ABOUT?”

I HAD PROTESTED AT THE TIME.  

“THAT’S STRIKE ONE!”  

SHE SAID BACK TO ME.  

“AND THAT IS WHAT I OWE OUR

MARITAL SUCCESS TO.”