ANIMAL FOOTBALL

THE ANIMALS WERE BORED.

FINALLY, THE LION HAD AN IDEA.

"I KNOW A REALLY EXCITING GAME

THAT THE HUMANS PLAY CALLED

FOOTBALL. I'VE SEEN IT ON T.V." 

HE PROCEEDED TO DESCRIBE IT

TO THE REST OF THE ANIMALS

AND THEY ALL GOT EXCITED

ABOUT IT SO THEY DECIDED TO PLAY.

THEY WENT OUT TO THE FIELD AND

CHOSE TEAMS AND WERE READY TO BEGIN. 

THE LION'S TEAM WERE ABLE TO GET

THE TWO FIRST DOWNS AND

THEN HAD TO PUNT.

THE MULE PUNTED AND THE RHINO

WAS BACK DEEP FOR THE KICK.

HE CAUGHT THE BALL,

LOWERED HIS HEAD AND CHARGED.

FIRST, HE CRUSHED A ROADRUNNER,

THEN TWO RABBITS.

HE GORED A WILDEBEEST,

KNOCKED OVER TWO COWS

AND BROKE THROUGH TO DAYLIGHT,

SCORING SIX. 

UNFORTUNATELY,

THEY LACKED A PLACE-KICKER

AND THE SCORE REMAINED 6 - 0. 

LATE IN THE FIRST HALF

THE LION'S TEAM SCORED A

TOUCHDOWN AND THE MULE KICKED

THE EXTRA POINT.

THE LION'S TEAM LED AT HALFTIME 7 - 6.

IN THE LOCKER ROOM,

THE LION GAVE A PEP TALK.

"LOOK YOU GUYS.

WE CAN WIN THIS GAME.

WE'VE GOT THE LEAD AND THEY ONLY

HAVE ONE REAL THREAT.

WE'VE GOT TO KEEP THE BALL

AWAY FROM THE RHINO,

HE'S A KILLER.

MULE, WHEN YOU KICK OFF

BE SURE TO KEEP IT AWAY

FROM THE RHINO." 

THE SECOND HALF BEGAN.

JUST AS THE MULE WAS ABOUT

TO KICK OFF, THE RHINO'S TEAM

CHANGED FORMATION AND

THE BALL WENT DIRECTLY

TO THE RHINO.

ONCE AGAIN,

THE RHINO LOWERED HIS HEAD

AND WAS OFF RUNNING.

FIRST, HE STOMPED TWO GAZELLES.

HE SKEWERED A ZEBRA

AND BULLDOZED AN ELEPHANT

OUT OF THE WAY.

IT LOOKED LIKE HE WAS HOME FREE.

SUDDENLY AT THE TWENTY-YARD LINE,

HE DROPPED OVER DEAD.

THERE WERE NO OTHER ANIMALS

IN SIGHT ANYWHERE NEAR HIM.

THE LION WENT OVER TO SEE

WHAT HAD HAPPENED.

RIGHT NEXT TO THE DEAD RHINO

HE SAW A SMALL CENTIPEDE. 

"DID YOU DO THIS?"

HE ASKED THE CENTIPEDE. 

"YEAH, I DID."

THE CENTIPEDE REPLIED. 

THE LION RETORTED,

"WHERE WERE YOU DURING

THE FIRST HALF?" 

"I WAS PUTTING ON MY SHOES."