THE PARROT WHO COULD ONLY SAY ONE THING

A WOMAN OWNED A PARROT

THAT COULD SAY ONLY ONE THING

“WHO IS IT?”

FOR YEARS AND YEARS

SHE HAD BEEN TRYING TO TEACH IT

TO EXTEND ITS VOCABULARY

BUT IT RESOLUTELY REFUSED TO

UTTER ANYTHING OTHER THAN

“WHO IS IT?” 

ONE DAY SHE HAD SENT FOR THE PLUMBER

AND AS SHE HAD TO GO OUT SHOPPING

SHE ARRANGED FOR HIM TO FIND

THE KEY UNDER THE MAT

OUTSIDE THE FRONT DOOR.

THE PLUMBER DULY ARRIVED,

FOUND THE KEY,

LET HIMSELF IN AND SET TO WORK.

NATURALLY THE PARROT,

HEARING SOMEONE IN THE HOUSE

WITH AN UNFAMILIAR TREAD,

DECIDED TO GIVE A RECITAL.

“WHO IS IT?”

CALLED THE PARROT.

THE PLUMBER!”

CALLED THE WORKMAN.

HEARING A STRANGE VOICE

THE PARROT AGAIN DECIDED

TO UTTER HIS ONE AND ONLY PHRASE.

“WHO IS IT?” 

“THE PLUMBER!”

CAME THE RESPONSE. 

THE PARROT WAS NOT SATISFIED

HE WANTED TO SEE WHO

THE STRANGER WAS.

“WHO IS IT?

HE CALLED AGAIN AND AGAIN

THE PLUMBER YELLED OUT

“IT’S THE PLUMBER!”

AGAIN AND AGAIN THE BIRD CALLED OUT

“WHO IS IT?”

AND AGAIN AND AGAIN THE

POOR BEWILDERED PLUMBER RESPONDED

“IT’S THE PLUMBER!

IT’S THE PLUMBER!

IT”S THE PLUMBER!”

EVENTUALLY IN A FURY

HE ROAMED THE HOUSE,

GOING FROM ROOM TO ROOM,

TRYING TO FIND OUT WHO

WAS CALLING HIM

BUT HE FAILED TO REALIZE

THAT IT WAS THE PARROT.

THIS WENT ON FOR A WHILE,

WITH HIM DASHING AROUND THE HOUSE,

GROWING INCREASINGLY DESPERATE

AND SHOUTING OUT

“IT’S THE PLUMBER!”

UNTIL EVENTUALLY THE

WRETCHED MAN FAINTED

CLEAN OUT IN THE HALL! 

JUST AT THAT MOMENT

THE MISTRESS OF THE HOUSE ENTERED,

SAW THE UNCONSCIOUS FIGURE

ON THE CARPET AND SAID,

“OH! WHO IS IT?” 

THE PARROT REPLIED,

“IT’S THE PLUMBER!”