GOOD ONE LINERS

NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU PUSH THE ENVELOPE,

IT WILL STILL BE STATIONARY

TWO WRONGS DON'T MAKE A RIGHT,

BUT TWO WRIGHTS DID MAKE AN AIRPLANE

CHANGE IS INEVITABLE,

EXCEPT FROM A VENDING MACHINE

THE SHORT FORTUNE TELLER WHO ESCAPED

FROM PRISON WAS A SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE

HE WHO HESITATES IS NOT ONLY LOST, BUT ALSO

MILES AWAY FROM THE NEXT EXIT

A DOG GAVE BIRTH TO PUPPIES NEAR THE ROAD

AND WAS CITED FOR LITTERING

I STARTED OUT WITH NOTHING

AND I STILL HAVE MOST OF IT

I WONDERED WHY THE BASEBALL KEPT

GETTING BIGGER AND THEN IT HIT ME