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BEST CHRISTMAS CRACKER JOKES

Added on: 22nd Dec 2016

 

 

HOW WILL CHRISTMAS DINNER BE

DIFFERENT AFTER BREXIT? 

NO BRUSSELS.

 

 WHAT DO WORKERS AT SPORTS DIRECT

GET FOR CHRISTMAS DINNER? 

ABOUT FIVE MINUTES.

 

HOW DO YOU RECOGNISE A

CHRISTMAS TREE FROM BHS?

ALL THE BRANCHES HAVE GONE.

 

I BOUGHT MY MUM MARY BERRY’S

COOKBOOK FOR CHRISTMAS,

I TRIED TO GET PAUL HOLLYWOOD’S

BUT HE’D SOLD OUT.

 

WHAT’S DAVID CAMERON’S

FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONG? 

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS EU.

 

WHY HAS HILLARY CLINTON 

ASKED SANTA FOR A 23-LETTER ALPHABET?

 BECAUSE SHE IS SICK OF F-B-I .

 

WHY DIDN’T ROY HODGSON GO

TO VISIT SANTA AT THE NORTH POLE? 

HE COULDN’T GET PAST ICELAND .

 

WHY ARE JEREMY CORBYN ’S

CHRISTMAS CARDS ON THE FLOOR? 

HIS CABINET COLLAPSED .

 

PRINCE PHILIP LOOKS OUT OF THE

WINDOW ON CHRISTMAS EVE.

“THAT’S SOME REINDEER,”

HE SAYS.

THE QUEEN REPLIES:

“63 YEARS. YES, THAT IS A LOT.”

 

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN

THE CLEMENTINE IN YOUR CHRISTMAS

STOCKING AND DONALD TRUMP? 

NOTHING, THEY’RE BOTH A LITTLE ORANGE .

 

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