ANIMAL FOOTBALL
Added on: 6th Sep 2016
THE ANIMALS WERE BORED.
FINALLY, THE LION HAD AN IDEA.
"I KNOW A REALLY EXCITING GAME
THAT THE HUMANS PLAY CALLED
FOOTBALL. I'VE SEEN IT ON T.V."
HE PROCEEDED TO DESCRIBE IT
TO THE REST OF THE ANIMALS
AND THEY ALL GOT EXCITED
ABOUT IT SO THEY DECIDED TO PLAY.
THEY WENT OUT TO THE FIELD AND
CHOSE TEAMS AND WERE READY TO BEGIN.
THE LION'S TEAM WERE ABLE TO GET
THE TWO FIRST DOWNS AND
THEN HAD TO PUNT.
THE MULE PUNTED AND THE RHINO
WAS BACK DEEP FOR THE KICK.
HE CAUGHT THE BALL,
LOWERED HIS HEAD AND CHARGED.
FIRST, HE CRUSHED A ROADRUNNER,
THEN TWO RABBITS.
HE GORED A WILDEBEEST,
KNOCKED OVER TWO COWS
AND BROKE THROUGH TO DAYLIGHT,
SCORING SIX.
UNFORTUNATELY,
THEY LACKED A PLACE-KICKER
AND THE SCORE REMAINED 6 - 0.
LATE IN THE FIRST HALF
THE LION'S TEAM SCORED A
TOUCHDOWN AND THE MULE KICKED
THE EXTRA POINT.
THE LION'S TEAM LED AT HALFTIME 7 - 6.
IN THE LOCKER ROOM,
THE LION GAVE A PEP TALK.
"LOOK YOU GUYS.
WE CAN WIN THIS GAME.
WE'VE GOT THE LEAD AND THEY ONLY
HAVE ONE REAL THREAT.
WE'VE GOT TO KEEP THE BALL
AWAY FROM THE RHINO,
HE'S A KILLER.
MULE, WHEN YOU KICK OFF
BE SURE TO KEEP IT AWAY
FROM THE RHINO."
THE SECOND HALF BEGAN.
JUST AS THE MULE WAS ABOUT
TO KICK OFF, THE RHINO'S TEAM
CHANGED FORMATION AND
THE BALL WENT DIRECTLY
TO THE RHINO.
ONCE AGAIN,
THE RHINO LOWERED HIS HEAD
AND WAS OFF RUNNING.
FIRST, HE STOMPED TWO GAZELLES.
HE SKEWERED A ZEBRA
AND BULLDOZED AN ELEPHANT
OUT OF THE WAY.
IT LOOKED LIKE HE WAS HOME FREE.
SUDDENLY AT THE TWENTY-YARD LINE,
HE DROPPED OVER DEAD.
THERE WERE NO OTHER ANIMALS
IN SIGHT ANYWHERE NEAR HIM.
THE LION WENT OVER TO SEE
WHAT HAD HAPPENED.
RIGHT NEXT TO THE DEAD RHINO
HE SAW A SMALL CENTIPEDE.
"DID YOU DO THIS?"
HE ASKED THE CENTIPEDE.
"YEAH, I DID."
THE CENTIPEDE REPLIED.
THE LION RETORTED,
"WHERE WERE YOU DURING
THE FIRST HALF?"
"I WAS PUTTING ON MY SHOES."
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